Dear Mister Postal Delivery Guy: Of all the times you decided to switch from delivering mail in the afternoon to delivering mail in the morning, why did it have to be yesterday? You’ve never delivered mail in the morning before! You always delivered mail after lunch! I wouldn’t have even asked for a re-delivery if I’d thought there was a ghost of a chance that you’d deliver a package that I had to sign for in the morning on Saturday, while I’d be picking over the books at the thrift shop. I would have driven out to the very accessible and conveniently located Main Office Carrier Annex, a place so far out in the suburbs of Madison that it’s impossible to see because light traveling from it will take millions of years to arrive where I’m standing! But I thought you’d re-deliver this package at the usual time, say two o’clock, when I’d be in the basement tinkering with my toys, so I didn’t think it would be a problem. Now, it’s a problem. I won’t be home to sign for a package until next Saturday, which is also when I’ll next have the time to drive to Outer Slobovia to pick up the package my darn self. Why do you call it the United States Postal Service?