Monday, December 8th, 2014

Roads are ice-covered this morning. Apparently Monday didn’t suck enough when the Great Big Cosmic F.U. looked down on Wisconsin today.

enough | 6:05 am CDT
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Thursday, September 27th, 2012

I woke up very early this morning because my head is as stuffed as a teddy bear’s. If I have to get sick, the timing couldn’t be more perfect: I have an entire week off from work, starting Monday.

With any luck at all, this is only an allergic reaction to the dust in the air at the office where I work, and I’m not coming down with a cold or the flu at all. Yeah. Yeah, that’s it. I’m not going to be knocked flat on my back by throbbing, infected sinuses, breathing through my mouth for the next week or so. I’ve just got a stuffy head because of some dust. I’m going to keep thinking that.

It’s not entirely wishful thinking. I have all the signs of an allergic reaction: My throat is scratchy as sandpaper, my eyes are puffy and itchy as hell and have been for days, and I have no fever yet. Coincidentally, there’s been a lot of heavy moving going on at the office for the past week and a half. They’ve been building cubicles, dragging furniture across the carpeting, and opening up the ceiling tiles to pull cables to the new desks that have been set up. There’s got to be a ton of dust and who knows what else stirring around in the air, right? All I have to do is take it easy for a day or two and, after I use up a Kleenex box or two by blowing the entire contents of my head out through my nose, I should be all right, right?

Right.

puffy head, itchy eyes, swollen nose – WIN! | 9:01 am CDT
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Friday, March 25th, 2011

As I stood beside the tub this morning with one hand under the shower head, waiting for the running water to get just a little bit warmer than frigid, my brain cell woke up just enough to notice that there were no clean towels on the towel rack. Good brain cell! Good boy!

Can you imagine what a crappy Friday morning that would have been? Finish up taking a wonderfully hot morning shower, draw back the curtain, reach for a towel and … what? What do I do at that point? Just stand there and drip-dry for a few long minutes waiting for the realization to sink in, is my guess, then carefully squeegee as much of the water off myself as I can with the flat of my hand before trying to dry myself with a hand towel.

But instead I shut off the shower, put on my bathrobe and tromped through the house to the laundry, which is really just a corner of the dining room where the washer and dryer hide behind a couple of bi-fold doors. The wash machine was empty, but in the dryer I found a heap of bath towels, all of them too far over the line between damp and wet to do me any good. Firing up the dryer, I looked around but couldn’t figure out what to do next. My brain cell had gone back to sleep. It’s not a good thing to change the morning routine.

Routine | 6:34 am CDT
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Thursday, March 24th, 2011

Was I right about last week’s warm weather being a tease? Yes, I was! I got it so right when I said we’d all be freezing our nipples off this week! BOOyah!

Why can’t I be right about something useful, like lottery numbers?

frigid | 8:26 pm CDT
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Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

When I got to the office yesterday morning I set my bag down next to my desk, as I do every morning, hung up my hat and coat, sat down in my chair and opened the file cabinet drawer where I’ve kept my shoes ever since those first merry flakes of winter cheer forced me to start wearing my snow boots to work … but found nothing. I must have taken them home last week. I couldn’t tell you when or why.

With no shoes to change into, I had to wear my snow boots all day long. These are snow boots made for tromping through deep snow in extreme cold, so wearing them in an office, even an office as cold as mine, is like having just my feet in a sauna all day. Come quitting time they felt as if they’d been boiled in oil.

Just minutes after I opened the file drawer and utterly failed to find any shoes in it, I reached for my wallet so I could buy myself a tasty Pop-Tart for breakfast and discovered I left it in my other coat. So, no breakfast. It was shaping up to be a really fantastic morning.

And no tea, either. I used my last tea bag Friday afternoon but didn’t worry about it much, because I thought we’d be stopping at the grocer’s after work. We didn’t. I can’t remember why. And when we stopped again on Saturday I didn’t remember to ask B to pick up some tea for me until after we were home again, warm and snug. It did occur to me again Sunday night, but I thought, No problem, I’ll just walk up to the co-op on my lunch break and buy another box. Didn’t happen, of course. Can’t buy stuff without a wallet.

Last on this laundry list of minor annoyances that add up to a Great Big Cosmic F.U.: Before backing the car out of the garage I’d had to shovel a couple inches of snow off the driveway, so I was rather warm when I came inside to change into work clothes and the necessity of putting on a sweater didn’t even occur to me. But the necessity was still very much there. Whoever controls the thermostat in our office must be a bit more well-insulated than I am. Without a sweater, I froze my nipples off. Literally. They got so cold they popped right off.

That was my Monday. How was yours?

(It was my Monday because the office was closed on MLK Day.)

Happy Monday | 6:06 am CDT
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