Thursday, January 28th, 2010

cats waitingI keep finding these guys here in the morning, just sitting, like this, as if they’re waiting for something.

They can’t be waiting in line for the bathroom. We have two cat pans and two cats. There is no line, ever.

All I can think is, they’re doing that spooky cat thing where they sit and stare into space, as if they can see dead people.

waiting room | 8:56 am CDT
Category: Bonkers, Boo, daily drivel, O'Folks
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Thursday, January 21st, 2010

bonkers the pirate catLadies and gentlemen, may I present the Secretary General of the United Nations, Mister Bonky Moon!

We’ve called him Bonkers ever since he came home with us, but you know how it is: You get bored with saying the same thing over and over, or he does something really crazy … actually, that’s how we came to call him Bonkers in the first place. That, and he was especially prone to head-butting anyone who leaned in close enough.

Sometimes we shortened his name to Bonk, usually pronounced with an exclamation point, like BONK! That was inevitable, really, just as it was only a matter of time before somebody christened him Bonky. Not that it ever mattered. He’s never responded to any name we’ve ever called him, which makes it easier to call him anything we like.

The Secretary General of the UN, as you may or may not know, and you probably don’t … not that I would think of impugning your intelligence, it’s just that nine out of ten Americans, by my official count, pay absolutely no attention to who’s in charge of the UN. That’s all I meant.

Where was I? Oh yeah! Ban Ki-Moon is the Big Guy at the UN, and when they say his name on the radio news, they say “Bonky Moon,” which is so much fun to say that My Darling B and I echo his name every time we hear it. We’d probably do it in a crowded elevator if you said it aloud, apropos of nothing, just to see if we would. Maybe especially in a crowded elevator.

It didn’t take long, not more than a couple months, before we made the link between Ban Ki-Moon and Bonkers, and now on the days that we hear Ban Ki-Moon on the radio do the echo thing, we call the cat Bonky Moon for the rest of the day, just for the joy of saying it over and over.

Which is why I suggested to B this morning that, should we ever adopt another cat, we should call him Boutros Boutros-Ghali, a name that’s just as much fun to say aloud as Ban Ki-Moon, maybe even more so.
And if we should turn into really crazy old people with a house full of cats, we could name them all after Secretaries General of the UN. I’d like a Dag, and U Thant would make a great name. Not sure that we’d have a Kurt Waldheim unless we were completely crazy-gone, though.

Bonky Moon | 3:17 pm CDT
Category: Bonkers, O'Folks
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Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

I wasn’t going to get up any earlier than five-thirty this morning to fix coffee for My Darling B, but the cats had an agenda and the first item on it was scheduled at five.

Bonkers jumped into bed first. This is a new tactic. Before this, he would stand at the end of the bed and cry. Now he jumps on our heads and purrs. The crying was so annoying it made my head explode. It’s hard to get mad about the purring. It’s also hard to sleep through. He gets right in our faces and purrs loudly enough to rattle the windows.

Let me modify what I said about sleeping through it: I have a hard time sleeping through it. My Darling B can sleep through an artillery barrage.

And even though her alarm clock is set at quarter till six, she’s been known to hit the snooze button a few times and generally doesn’t roll out of bed until sometime between six and six-fifteen. Hence my desire to wake up no earlier than five-thirty, which would have given me plenty of time to have a steaming pot of coffee waiting on the kitchen counter for her.

That was the plan. Oh well.

the plan | 2:36 pm CDT
Category: Bonkers, My Darling B, O'Folks, sleeplessness
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