Tuesday, March 31st, 2020

Missed yesterday’s covid-19 update. Oops.

The Johns Hopkins live map, updated at 5:30 this morning, indicated there were 800,049 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in the world and 38,714 deaths.

At the same time in the U.S. there were 164,410 confirmed cases, almost one-quarter of the world’s total. The U.S. accounted for 3,170 deaths from COVID-19, about eight percent of the world’s total. 914 of U.S. deaths – almost one-third of the U.S. total – were in New York city.

In Wisconsin there were 1,285 confirmed cases and 24 deaths. 10 deaths – almost half – were in Milwaukee County, where they had a total of 617 confirmed cases — just shy of half all the confirmed cases in Wisconsin.

The southeast corner of Wisconsin has been the hardest hit; beside Milwaukee County, Kenosha County had 30 cases, Ozaukee County had 36 cases and 3 deaths, Racine County had 21 cases, Washington County had 34 cases, and Waukesha County had 93 cases. Including Milwaukee County, the region accounts for 831 cases – 65 percent of all COVID-19 cases in Wisconsin – and 13 deaths – 54 percent of all deaths in Wisconsin.

There were 192 confirmed cases in Dane County and a total of 2 deaths (1 more than reported on Sunday).

missed | 6:38 am CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Sunday, March 29th, 2020

It’s Day 15 of shelter in place at the O’Folks Home, counting from the Sunday after we flew back from Florida. We are both still free of any of the red-flag symptoms of Covid-19, and I’m pretty sure we owe that to the fact that we’ve stayed in our little red house virtually 24/7 since our return. It’s not that we never leave; I go out periodically to stretch my legs and get some air, and we’ve both gone out a handful of times to buy necessary supplies. That’s pretty much it, though; we don’t eat out any more, we’ve stopped making trips to the convenience store for cookies or chips, and I haven’t been to a book store since we came back, not that they’ve been open.

My Darling B made a trip to the co-op for groceries yesterday. We usually shop at the Willy Street Co-Op, a small neighborhood cooperative in Madison where they seem to be doing their best to make shopping for groceries as safe as possible. They open at ten o’clock and the first hour is reserved for senior citizens and people who are immunocompromised. Two people stand at the door, counting noses, and let only 30 people into the store at a time. At eleven o’clock they start letting in anybody else, but allow only 50 at a time to enter. You have to stand three feet back from the counters and bag your own groceries.

After B got back from shopping, she burned her clothes and took a shower. Kidding. She didn’t burn her clothes, but she did immediately take a long, hot shower. Then we put away the dozen or so bags of groceries she brought home with her. I think we can hunker down with the food we have for at least a month, if it came to that. I don’t think it will. I think it’ll get bad, but not so bad we won’t be able to go out at all. But I might be wrong about that.

Day 15 | 12:00 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Trump, insinuating at a press conference that medical professionals are squandering or selling the supplies being sent to them to deal with the pandemic:

“Many of the states are stocked up, some of them don’t admit it, but they have, we have sent just so much, so many things to them, including ventilators, you know, there’s a question as to hoarding of ventilators, some hospitals and independent hospitals and some hospital chains, as we call them, they are holding ventilators, they don’t want to let them up, we need them for certain areas where there’s big problems, can’t hold them if they think there might be a problem weeks down the road.”

“For years, 10- to 20,000 masks, okay, it’s a New York hospital, it’s packed all the time, how do you go from 10- to 20- to 300,000, 10- to 20,000 masks to 300,000 even though this is different, something’s going on and you ought to look into it as reporters, where are the masks going? Are they going out the back door? How do you go from 10,000 to 300,000, and we have that in a lot of different places so somebody should probably look into that ’cause I just don’t see, from a practical standpoint, how that’s possible to go from that to that and we have that happening in numerous places”

smdh | 5:58 am CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

1,441 more people tested, 0.64 times more people than yesterday.

123 new cases, 0.84 more than yesterday.

14 new cases in Dane County, 0.56 more than yesterday.

No new deaths.

I get these numbers from the Wisconsin Department of Health Services, which posts them on their web site at about two o’clock each day. A disclosure on the web page indicates these are the numbers reported at 9 pm the previous day, so there’s a seventeen-hour lag built into them.

At the same time that WI DHS was reporting no new deaths, the web site of Johns Hopkins University was reporting 17 deaths in Wisconsin.

alternate | 3:36 am CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Saturday, March 28th, 2020

2,239 more people tested, 1.3 times more than yesterday.

147 new cases, 1.1 times more than yesterday.

25 new cases in Dane County, 1.3 times more than yesterday.

No new deaths.

Nationwide, the 1st recorded death from COVID-19 was on 2/29.
The 1,000th death was 3/26, two days ago.
Today saw the 2,000th death from COVID-19.

rainy | 5:23 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Friday, March 27th, 2020

1,692 more people tested, 1.05 times more than yesterday.

135 new cases, 1.1 times more than yesterday.

19 new cases in Dane County, 1.4 times more than yesterday

5 more deaths, 1.6 times more than yesterday.

ramping up | 3:17 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Thursday, March 26th, 2020

1,616 more people tested, 364 fewer people than yesterday.

122 new cases in Wisconsin, 6 fewer than yesterday.

26 new cases in Dane County, 1.6 times more than yesterday.

2 more deaths, both in Milwaukee County.

less is more | 7:12 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Wednesday, March 25th, 2020

Q: Mister President, you tweeted earlier, linking the closing of the country to your election success in November. Is this Easter timeline based on your political interests?

A: What do you mean, my election success?

Q: You said that the media wants the country to remain closed to hurt you —

A: Yeah, no, I think the media would like to see me do poorly in the election.

Q: Sir, lawmakers and congress on both sides of the aisle have said that reopening the country by Easter is not a good idea. What is that plan based on?

A: Just so you understand — are you ready? I think there are certain people that would like it to open not so quickly. I think there are certain people who would like it to do financially poorly, because they think that would be very good as far as defeating me in the polls. And, I don’t know if that’s so, but I do think it’s so that there are people in your profession that would like that to happen. I think it’s very clear that there are people in your profession that write fake news. You do. She does. There are people in your profession that write fake news. They would love to see me, for whatever reason, because we’ve done one hell of a job, nobody’s done the job that we’ve done, and it’s lucky that you have this group here now for this problem, or you wouldn’t even have a country left. Okay.

Source

barking | 6:11 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

1,980 more people tested, 1.6 times the number of new tests reported yesterday.

128 new confirmed cases in Wisconsin, 3.0 times the number of new cases reported yesterday.

16 new cases in Dane County, 1.2 times more than yesterday.

1 new death, reported in Dane County.

jump | 5:16 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Tuesday, March 24th, 2020

corona virus in Wisconsin1,228 more people tested, 1.4 time more people than reported yesterday.

41 new cases, 1.2 times more than yesterday.

11 new cases in Dane County.

No new deaths reported.

Trump wants to lift restrictions by the end of the week because the economy’s not making enough money. Sick and dead workers don’t make money, you derp.

slow rise | 2:11 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
No Comments | Add a comment

Monday, March 23rd, 2020

855 more people tested.

Thirty-five more confirmed cases.

One added death in Milwaukee County. No new positives in Dane County.

The governor ordered all non-essential services shut down tomorrow and told everyone to stay indoors.

Working at home again this week. I’m not sure how much I like this working from home. On the one hand, we don’t have to drive on the beltline, and we’re home the minute we clock off. On the other hand, our home used to be my refuge from the stress of work, and now it’s not.

#safeathome | 8:29 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
Comments Off on #safeathome

Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

1702 more people tested.

One-hundred more cases today over yesterday’s total, a thirty-six percent increase, can probably be attributed to more testing but is right in line with the daily thirty-three percent increase seen in other countries.

No increase in the number of deaths, thank goodness.

Source: https://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/outbreaks/index.htm

thirty-six percent | 3:54 pm CDT
Category: current events, Life & Death | Tags:
Comments Off on thirty-six percent

Saturday, March 21st, 2020

COVID-19 in Wisconsin 281 positive 4 deathsI left the house yesterday to go shopping for groceries but I did not feel good about it. I’m not sure there’s any way to do that and feel good about it. Here’s what I mean:

For as long as this pandemic is raging, we should all be acting as if we are contagious and are spreading the virus everywhere we go. (A survivor of the SARS epidemic wrote: “Pretend that everything is covered with snot.”) You don’t have to come into contact with other people; you only have to come in contact with things: door handles, shopping carts, food packaging, the keypad on the credit card reader, the floor. You have to act as though you’re shedding virus on everything any part of your body touches. And you have to act as though everyone else is doing the same.

And I try. And I’ve noticed that, for every time I mentally pat myself on the back for not touching something unnecessarily, I slip up and touch something else unthinkingly. It’s just not possible not to touch anything. I’m going to touch things. So is everyone else. All the customers picking up packages to read the ingredients or brand or whatever and then putting it back on the shelf. All the workers in the store who put products on the shelves. The worker who rang up my purchases — she encouraged me to bag them myself if I wanted to, which I did, but she handled every single item.

All those people might not be sick. Maybe only one of them is. But we have to act as though we’re all infectious. We’re not doing that. We’re trying — I’m trying — but we’re only about fifty percent successful, at best. That’s not successful enough.

I did another thing we really shouldn’t be doing: I stopped at a local brunch restaurant to pick up breakfast sammies to go. Locally-owned restaurants are using social media to beg customers to order food for pick-up so their businesses don’t dry up and blow away, and while I agree that keeping your employees, y’know, employed is a laudable goal, by doing this we are not acting as though everyone is infectious. The guy who made our breakfast sammies and the gal who checked me out at the counter might not be contagious, but we should assume the exact opposite until the number of people dying of COVID-19 begins to drop.

That’s why we’re going to end up like Italy by the end of the month: a whole country with a runaway infection rate, confined to our homes in a last-ditch attempt to bring down the number of sick people flooding into hospitals.

out and about | 7:44 am CDT
Category: current events | Tags:
Comments Off on out and about

Monday, March 16th, 2020

So we’ve just come back from a cruise. In hindsight, going ahead with our plans to cruise was probably one of the dumber decisions we’ve made, now that it’s become clear the nation was already diving headfirst into the calamity that is the novel corona virus pandemic. At the time it seemed as though we had a month or so before things got really serious; there were reports of outbreaks in Washington state and a few very localized communities and we talked ourselves into believing that’s all there was to it, but with little to no testing going on, we were only denying the reality of the situation.

And it was pretty easy to keep on denying anything was wrong. O’Hare airport was jammed shoulder-to-shoulder with travelers and the airlines weren’t taking any special precautions that were apparent to us. Fort Lauderdale airport was just as busy as O’Hare and the motel we stayed in appeared to be fully booked with people who were for the most part unconcerned about being in close contact with one another. I noticed a few people at the continental breakfast making good use of hand sanitizer, but they were just two or three out of dozens. We all happily climbed into crowded buses to take the short ride to the cruise port at ten o’clock.

We boarded in one of the early groups and although they warned us we would be subject to a stringent medical screening due to the pandemic, this amounted to little more than asking us to fill out a questionnaire and requiring us to submit to having our temperature taken. They used little plastic pistols which they pointed at our foreheads to take our temperature, and we’re a little doubtful about their accuracy — B’s temp was 91 degrees Farenheit, which I’m pretty sure is not possible for a walking, talking human being.

Sanitation is very important on a cruise ship, so the crew is used to keeping everything clean, and there was almost always someone standing guard at the entrance to the dining hall, squirting everyone’s hands with a jumbo-sized bottle of hand santizer. The people who ran the charter cruise we were on regularly reminded everyone to wash their hands and even played a couple of specially-recorded videos with catchy tunes to keep it at the front of our minds.

Nobody got sick on the cruise that I know of. Although a few people reported on social media afterwards that they were under the weather with sniffles or coughs, they attributed it to “cruise crud,” a catch-all description for the various bugs people suffer from after a cruise. B had a nasty case of cruise crud the first time we went cruising; we made sure we washed our hands more or less constantly the next two times and we avoided coming down with anything. If we’re lucky, it worked again this time around, too.

hindsight | 9:13 am CDT
Category: current events, travel, vacation | Tags: ,
Comments Off on hindsight

Best part of our cruise? The balcony. I’m not kidding even a little bit about this. There were lots of things about the cruise that were great, but the number one best thing about it was sitting on the balcony with a book and a fruity drink, listening to the waves whoosh off the sides of the boat for hours. Not even close.

view from our cruise ship stateroom balcony

We originally had a reservation for a room on deck one, two decks below the lowest open deck on the ship, so although we had a window — it was much bigger than what you would probably think of if I said “porthole,” so I’m going to call it a window — it didn’t open and didn’t provide us with much more than an up close and very personal view of the waves crashing off the bow.

Then, a few weeks before we sailed, My Darling B casually said to me, “What if we upgraded to a balcony? It doesn’t cost that much more.” I enthusiastically endorsed the idea and sent an email message to the booking office, asking to be put on the waiting list for an upgrade to a room with a balcony, should one become available. We never heard back from them, so I assumed there were no cancellations that resulted in an vacant room with a balcony.

But in the last few days before we flew down to meet the ship at the cruise port we saw posts on social media from people who were canceling because they were sick or were concerned about becoming sick, so after we got there and checked in, we went to the guest services desk to ask them if they had any vacancies with a balcony. And what the heck, they did.

Getting the upgrade wasn’t easy. Well, it was easy for us, but we unintentionally made it confusing and complicated for the women at the guest desk partly because we were a little bit tipsy but mostly because they showed us two different rooms: first they showed us a vacant cabin on deck 5. Then we went back to our room to talk over whether or not we wanted it (we did, but we always have to do this talking it over thing). When we went back to ask for the upgrade, we talked to a different woman at the guest desk who wanted to give us a vacant cabin on deck 8, so we asked her to show that one to us, too. I thought the one on 8 looked bigger but the woman walled the desk and confirmed with someone (who turned out to be wrong) they were the same size. B wanted the cabin on 5 so we went back to the desk, signed some papers, grabbed our bags and made our way up.

When we got there we could immediately tell that the cabin on 5 was *much* smaller than the one on 8, even smaller than our original cabin on deck 1, so we marched straight down to the guest desk to ask for the one on 8, which they gave us, but it a great big hurry because the life boat drill was about to start. They got the paperwork done and the key cards made just in time for us to rush out to our muster station. There was just one more little hiccup, a delay getting our bags from our new room on deck 5 moved up to our newest room on deck 8, but that got sorted out shortly after the dinner hour so it was all good.

And we put that balcony to good use. We did lots of other cruise stuff, too, but it turned out what we most wanted to do was sit on a couple of deck chairs and stare out at the sea as our minds wandered far away from the cares of the world.

view from our cruise ship stateroom balcony

verandah | 9:12 am CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
Comments Off on verandah

Saturday, February 29th, 2020

So long, Boo. I miss your crooked little tail already.

So long Boo | 2:45 pm CDT
Category: Boo, Life & Death | Tags:
Comments Off on So long Boo

Sunday, February 23rd, 2020

Tim tipped us off to a show he watches on You Tube called Hot Ones. In it, Sean Evans interviews celebrities while they eat hot wings that get hotter as the show goes on. Some of the celebrities bail out before they get to the hottest wings, earning themselves a place on the Hot Ones Wall of Shame. Others press on to the very end even while they regret every moment of it. A few endure the experience with a calm stoicism that is truly impressive to watch.

We had our own Hot Ones challenge last night, using the lineup of hot sauces the show featured in Season Nine. Well, okay, not the entire lineup. I ordered the first five sauces because, while I enjoy spicy foods, I wasn’t entirely sure I could endure the whole lineup of ten sauces, so I decided to try the bottom half to see just how hot they got.

I like a little hot sauce on my eggs and had been dabbing them with The Classic, which has lately been the first hot sauce in the Hot Ones lineup. It’s tasty and not quite as hot as Cholula, which is the hot sauce I had been dressing my eggs with because that’s what the waitress brings me when I ask for hot sauce in a restaurant. I have to say I favor The Classic over Cholula because I think The Classic is tastier and I like that I can put more of it on my eggs because it doesn’t set my mouth on fire.

I ordered The Classic from Heatonist, a store in New York, which sells most of the sauces seen on Hot Ones, and while I was on their web site I also ordered the bottom half of the lineup so we could do our own home-grown Hot Ones challenge one day. Well, that day was yesterday after dinner while Tim was visiting. B heated up some chicken nuggets and we dunked them in a dab of each of the sauces, working our way up to number five. All of them are just delicious and even the hottest one, Los Calientes, was not quite as hot as some of the Indian food we get for take-out, although all were respectably spicy.

Then, there was Da Bomb, the famously superhot hot sauce that takes down all but the most seasoned guests on Hot Ones. I think probably the best response any of the Hot Ones guests had to Da Bomb was best voiced by Trevor Noah: “It’s just pain! What? Why? This is not ‘da bomb,’ this is trash.” (His complete thoughts on Da Bomb start at 14:10 and they’re hilarious.)

I never intended to ever try Da Bomb because almost all of the guests on Hot Ones were virtually unanimous in their condemnation of it, but My Darling B bought a bottle of it when we first started watching the show and she dug it out of wherever she was hiding it and put it on the table with the rest of the hot sauces last night. It was practically a double-dog dare. I’m a great big chicken who can back away from a double-dog dare with no regrets, but I was thinking the other sauces were tolerable; how much hotter could Da Bomb really be?

Imagine filling your mouth with gasoline, then setting it on fire with a flame thrower, then instead of putting the fire out you hit yourself in the mouth with a red-hot poker while you let your face burn. That would be almost as hot as eating something with Da Bomb on it. I have never eaten anything that hot before and with any luck, I never will again. It didn’t only burn my mouth, it cranked up my heart rate, gave me the shivers, and sent my brain into orbit. I’m getting a little dizzy just recalling how hot it was. I felt the way Tom Arnold looked by the end of his Hot Ones interview. At the peak of Da Bomb’s spiciness, I had to drink ice water constantly just to keep my head from exploding. I would slurp up a mouthful, slosh it around until it was a little warmer than ice, swallow, slurp up more, slosh, swallow, et cetera. I did that through three pint glasses of ice water and I only stopped at three pints because I wasn’t sure I could hold any more.

My Darling B, the cocky little wench, had to immediately spit out her mouthful of Da Bomb and for a few harrowing moments she was sure she was going to throw up. “It tasted the way natural gas smells,” she very accurately described it.

Would I do it again? Hell no. I’m sorry I did at all. Gonna try some of the other hotter sauces featured on the show, but I’ll never try Da Bomb again. I don’t know how Sean Evans eats that crap every week.

Just FYI, we grabbed things from all over the kitchen looking for an antidote to Da Bomb and it turned out that sucking on orange wedges helped a lot. I ate the wedges because the pulpiness seemed to help mop the fiery heat off my tongue as I chewed them up.

hot ones | 11:11 am CDT
Category: entertainment, food & drink, random idiocy, television | Tags:
Comments Off on hot ones

Tuesday, February 11th, 2020

I’m wearing my first-ever pair of bifocals now. Well, not right this minute. I’m nearsighted, so I don’t need corrective lenses to see a computer screen that’s right in front of my face. There are times, though, when I have to look at someone else’s computer screen and it gets weird because to get close enough to read it, I have to invade their personal space. Some people don’t mind so much, but some people do.

There are also times when I’d like to be able to read the various dials and readouts on the dashboard of my car. Some readouts I can look at and know what they’re telling me without actually reading them; the speedometer, for instance. I know when it’s pointing at “60” instead of “50.” But sometimes I want to know the name of the song on the radio, or read the map display, and to do that I would have to tip my head way back and peep under the lenses of my old prescription.

I don’t have to do that now, but it’s a bit of a struggle overcoming the muscle memory. I keep peeping under the lenses when all I have to do is dip my eyes to look through the lower half of my new lenses.

bifocals | 6:00 am CDT
Category: falling apart, random idiocy, TMI Tuesday
Comments Off on bifocals

Monday, February 10th, 2020

For once, he’s not lying.

tremendous fraud

tremendous | 5:19 am CDT
Category: current events | Tags:
Comments Off on tremendous

Sunday, February 9th, 2020

He purred me to sleep.

Cat Nap

cat nap | 2:42 pm CDT
Category: random idiocy | Tags: ,
Comments Off on cat nap

Sunday, February 2nd, 2020

Woke up pretty early Saturday morning because I messed up my back shoveling snow last weekend, so I still have a nasty leftover twinge that runs from the middle of my lower back across my right hip and down my thigh. I spent most nights this week trying and failing to find a comfortable position to sleep. So from time to time all through the past week I’ve had to stop what I was doing to practice a little physio/yoga, reaching very carefully for my toes, hanging there in rag doll pose for three to five deep breaths, then very carefully and slowly rising all the way up and leaning back, reaching up with my chest and down with my shoulders, until I can’t comfortably go back any further, holding that pose (not sure what the yogis call that; maybe hyperextended question mark?) for another three to five breaths, and finally straightening up and focusing on my lower back to see if it feels any better. Usually it does, for a while.

There hasn’t been a lot of snow this year and though I’ve broken out the shovel a dozen times, more or less, this season, it’s usually been to clear a few inches off the sidewalk; I don’t even bother clearing the driveway when there’s an inch or less because I can count on the sun to burn it off in a few days. Last week, though, we got a couple four-five inches, and the city plow turned that into a big pile at the end of the drive that I couldn’t just drive over, so I had to fire up the snow blower, then clean up the edges of the drive and clear the sidewalk with the shovel. To make it more complicated than it had to be, as part of the work we’ve been having done on the house there was a big trailer parked in the drive that I had to park behind, which meant I had to do a lot more shoveling in the narrow spaces around them instead of zipping down the driveway with the snow blower. And then there was the heavy, wet snow that fell on the weekend; that’s the stuff that my back really wasn’t prepared for.

Warm weather this weekend has been steadily melting the snow away; thanks, Mother Nature! Could’ve used that a little earlier this week, though.

A contractor from Mike’s Painting named Dave stopped by the house Saturday about ten o’clock to paint the wall in our bedroom where they had to tear out the rotten framing around the window and patch it up with fresh new framing and drywall. The drywallers came by middle of last week to plaster over the patched spot, and Dave, the painter from Mike’s, was there to paint over the plaster. Unfortunately he couldn’t match the paint exactly, so now one wall of the bedroom is a light tan color and the other three walls are a slightly darker, more yellow sand color. But! You wouldn’t otherwise suspect there was a big hole in the wall only two weeks ago; you would only wonder why one wall was a different color, if you wonder about things like that.

We had a couple hours of quiet time in the afternoon after Dave from Mike’s finished and packed up his stuff, so I stretched out on the sofa to read a little and have a short nap before Tim came over. I have a crazy-large collection of anthologies of short stories in the science fiction & fantasy genre; I used to eat this stuff up with a spoon when I was a kid but got away from it later and didn’t read it at all for many, many moons. I rediscovered it after I checked out a copy of John Scalzi’s Old Man’s War from the main branch of the Madison Public Library, my favorite spot to spend my lunch hour when I worked downtown. Scalzi writes the kind of science fiction I enjoyed so much as a kid: character-driven with lots of dialogue, fast-paced action, and SHIPS IN SPAAACE! His latest book is due out in April and I’m on tenterhooks waiting for its release. Meantime, I’m gobbling up other authors like Mary Robinette Kowal (The Calculating Stars, The Fated Sky), Chuck Wendig (Wanderers), N.K. Jemisin (How Long ‘Til Black Future Month?) and Mary Wells (The Murderbot Diaries).

Just tangentially, and to self-consciously reassert my cred as a “serious reader,” I’m about two-hundred pages into Cyrus Sulzberger’s fascinating memoir, A Long Row of Candles. Sulzberger was a correspondent for the New York Times and, to judge by what I’ve read so far, he was either one of the most adventuresome men on the planet who met the most colorful people who ever lived, or he may have exaggerated his stories a teensy-tiny bit. Dunno which, not sure I care; it’s a fun read either way, but at more than a thousand pages it’s not nearly as portable as my phone, on which I can read Kindle editions of SHIPS IN SPAAACE! So in the fifteen-minute breaks I get from staring at spread sheets at the office I read sci-fi, and when I have an hour or two of quiet time at home I read Sulzberger.

Except yesterday. Yesterday I wanted fantasy in small bites, to have plenty of time for a nap, and I wanted to discover new authors, so I got one of the anthologies down off the shelf and flipped pages until an interesting title caught my eye. Yesterday it was “Because Change Was the Ocean and We Lived by Her Mercy,” by Charlie Jane Anders. I’ll have to read it again because unfortunately I nodded off about halfway through, one of the hazards of reading preparatory to a nap. I finished the story after I woke up, but I think the continuity break messed up my understanding of the story. I’m not sure I could describe it right now if peace on earth hung in the balance.

Tim came over last night for dinner and a game of Spirit Island. Dinner was take-out from Swad, an Indian restaurant up the street. We feasted on lamb kabob, chicken tikka, chilli chicken and, of course, onion bhaji. A bonus of ordering dinner from Swad: everyone had buckets of leftovers to stock up the fridge for breakfast/lunch/dinner the next day. My dish was spicy enough that I think I’ll have to wait until dinner to finish mine off.

After clearing the dishes from the table and listening to the last half of the latest Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me! podcast, we broke out the gameboard and set up a game of Spirit Island, an anti-colonizing game Tim introduced us to about a month ago. This time I was Lighting’s Swift Strike, blasting towns and cities off the board, while B defended the forests as A Spread of Rampant Green and Tim swept explorers away as River Surges in Sunlight. We cleared the invading colonials off the board in about two and a half hours last night, quite a lot faster than the five or so hours it took the first time we played; I think B and I may finally be getting the hang of this game.

high points | 9:39 am CDT
Category: daily drivel
Comments Off on high points

Monday, January 27th, 2020

People have been taking selfies since the camera was invented. Astronauts are no more immune to the temptation to snap photos of themselves while they’re on the job than the rest of us are. Here’s astronaut Jessica Meir, who is currently orbiting her home planet aboard the International Space Station, as she snapped a photo of herself that should be on the wall of every kid who dreams of becoming an astronaut some day:

Astronaut Jessica Meir

spacewalk selfie | 8:36 am CDT
Category: current events, this modern world | Tags: , , ,
Comments Off on spacewalk selfie

Sunday, January 26th, 2020

I went to the eye doctor yesterday afternoon because my prescription seemed a little out of whack and it had been about five years since I’d had my eyes checked last. The office I went to last was in a Shopko that closed last summer, but the office moved to a strip mall about two blocks from our house so I guess even that minor catastrophe had a silver lining.

Before the doctor did her examination, a tech took me into a side room to check me for glaucoma with that goddamn machine that hit my eyeball with what they always describe as a “puff” of air, and which I describe as being punched in the face by an evil spirit. She had another machine that projected an image on the back of my eye but she didn’t say what that did; and she had a camera that took a picture of the retina of both my eyes. She had to take two photos of my left eye but she didn’t say why.

Once the tech was done with me, the doctor took me to a separate examination room and did the usual examination with the goggles that flip between better and worse, then she got behind a scope that shined a bright light into my eyes so she could examine the retinas live, one at a time, under magnification. She spent a bit longer looking into the left one than the right one before she explained that she was looking for a whitened area on my retina that showed up on the photos. It was probably totally normal, she said, most likely a myelinated nerve fiber layer and probably not A CANCEROUS TUMOR, but the only way she could be sure was to look at it live under magnification. Trouble was, it was in a part of my eye that at such an acute angle to my pupil that she couldn’t see it without dilating my eyes.

Luckily for both of us, I walked to the examination, meaning that driving home with dilated eyes wasn’t even part of the equation. Therefore, yes, please, go ahead and dilate my eyes so we can find out if one of them is full of cancer or it’s only a benignly myelinated nerve. I am only too happy to have this cleared up in exchange for having to squint all the way home.

And it turned out to be the benign thing, whew. So what might have turned out to be a slightly more exciting day than I had planned was instead routine. All I got out of it was a new prescription and a new pair of glasses.

myelinated | 11:17 am CDT
Category: falling apart, Life & Death
Comments Off on myelinated

Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020

Fare the well, Terry Jones, and thank you so much for all the laughs.

Terry Jones | 6:16 am CDT
Category: current events
Comments Off on Terry Jones

Tuesday, January 21st, 2020

I fired up the snow blower for the first time last weekend.

I’ll say that again: For the first time this winter, I used my snow blower. In mid-January. It finally snowed enough to get the snow blower out of moth balls. It snowed a couple times before last weekend, but just barely. All but once I didn’t even bother to shovel it off the driveway. It’s been a disappointing year for snow, if you love snow. Which I don’t. I could easily do without it, and it looks increasingly like I’ll be able to do just that.

But not because of climate change, because climate change is a hoax.

Just kidding. Climate change is real and we’re all going to die.

Just kidding. We’re not going to die. It’ll only feel like we’re dying.

Don’t mind me. I just woke up. Haven’t even finished my coffee yet. Go back to sleep.

first blow | 6:18 am CDT
Category: current events, random idiocy, weather, yet another rant
Comments Off on first blow

Saturday, January 18th, 2020

Driving into town this morning I had to hit the brakes suddenly and all the ice and snow that had piled up on the roof came sliding down the windshield to almost completely block my view, not an idea situation to be in while driving along one of the busiest roads in Madison.

We’ve had quite a lot of snow fall in the past two or three days and because we haven’t been able to park the car in the garage, a layer of ice about half an inch thick built up on the roof, which was later covered by about three inches of snow. I could get most of the snow off when I cleaned off the car this morning, but the ice was too hard and stuck fast to the roof, but apparently the car warmed up enough as we drove it first to breakfast and then into town for the bond between the ice and the rooftop to loosen, leading up to the surprise and near-blinding I got later.

We can’t park our car in the garage because the guys who are installing the new siding on our little red house have parked a dumpster in the driveway where they toss demolished lumber and scraps of siding. Our car has to sit all by its lonesome self at the end of the driveway in the blowing snow.

snowcrash | 3:01 pm CDT
Category: story time, weather | Tags:
Comments Off on snowcrash

I have that funny feeling somebody’s watching me.

someone’s watching | 2:37 pm CDT
Category: daily drivel
Comments Off on someone’s watching

Wednesday, January 15th, 2020

“I don’t care how flat the box is, I’m getting in it!”

a cat in a box

boxed | 5:58 am CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags: ,
Comments Off on boxed

Saturday, January 11th, 2020

I kinda had to do this. It was getting to be too much trouble to take care of. I let it grow out in the first place because I was too lazy to get it cut, so it only follows that I’d get it cut because I’m too lazy to take care of it properly.

time to get those hairs cut

I really had no idea it was so long. I mean, obviously I knew it was long but until I saw the photos my stylist took I didn’t realize just how long it had grown (and how much it made me look like the creepy bald guy in Rocky Horror). I was also pretty clueless about how long it had been since I stopped getting it cut, too. I searched through my camera roll to find a photo of myself with short hair to show to the stylist and had to scroll back more than two years! Honestly, I thought it had been maybe a year, year and a half tops.

The stylist was not sure at all I knew what I was getting myself into when I told her how short I wanted her to cut it and showed her the photos of me before I stopped getting it cut. I had to virtually sign a waiver and pinky swear that I would not hold it against her after she cut it all off. She started by whacking about six inches off just so she would have room to work, issuing little declarative statements like “it’s not going to look pretty,” which made me laugh and evil laugh. “I was just thinking,” I said, “that if I really wanted to be mean right now, I’d start blubbering ‘no, no, stop!'”

Best part of the night: she washed my hair with a special shampoo that apparently had spicy peppers in it — is there nothing they won’t turn into a mole these days? The conditioner she used after the wash was similarly spiked and kept my scalp tingling through the rest of the haircut.

The rest of the cut took about a half hour to forty-five minutes; altogether I was there about an hour and a half, and I have to say it was the best part of my day. I can see why My Darling B likes going there. I’ve already set a reminder in my calendar to go back next month for another wash and cut.

hairs cut | 8:42 am CDT
Category: barber, random idiocy | Tags:
Comments Off on hairs cut

Tuesday, January 7th, 2020

The house was naked when we got home last night. All the siding had been ripped off it. That was expected. There are no roving gangs of vandals stripping the siding from houses in our neighborhood; we actually hired a contractor to pull all the old siding off, then put new siding on. Nothing to worry about here.

What was worrisome, though, was the sound of running water we heard after we entered the house. It seemed to be coming from the kitchen, so My Darling B went straight to it. She opened the dish washer, thinking maybe I had loaded it up in the morning and it had somehow gotten stuck in the rinse cycle, but she could quickly see that it wasn’t running, so she checked under the sink. No sign of anything amiss under there.

We shared a significant look just then, and I could tell she was thinking of the deluge, too. We had a little accident a couple years back when an overflowing toilet flooded the basement so catastrophically that we had to call in a small army of people to clean it up, and damned if that “running water” sound didn’t sound a lot like this.

As I ran down the stairs to the basement, I could hear the sound of water splashing, gushing, cascading and otherwise doing what would be described using words that would generally denote a more cheerful activity than the one that was happening in our house. It didn’t take long for me to find where the water was coming from, but the leak was behind a panel I would have to tear out to get to it, so I ran back upstairs, changed into grubby clothes, and got to work.

And while I was racing around, I was making several phone calls to the contractors who had ripped the siding off my house, because what had happened apparently was this: There’s a faucet for the garden hose out back of the house. A pipe from the house runs out through a hole in the siding. From what I could tell, when they tore off the siding, they pulled the faucet off, too. Weirdly, they put the faucet back by stuffing the broken pipe back into the hole, as if that would somehow fix things. I conveyed all this information to the contractors, who called a plumber, who arrived at our humble o-bode later that evening, by which time I had shut off the water main and cleaned things up a bit.

The plumber examined the broken pipe, made two quick cuts with a nifty powered tool that removed a two-inch length of pipe so he could get in there with his hand, then fished a small brass cap out of his pocket which he fit over the end of the pipe and pounded it home with the heel of his hand. “You want to turn the water back on?”

“Don’t you at least want to hit that with a hammer?” I asked, because I believed he would at the very least have to solder the cap in place. He insisted it would hold, so I opened the main water valve, expecting to hear the sound of water spraying gaily all over the plumber as he yelled for me to turn it off again. No such thing happened. I stared in wonder at the little brass cap and asked him what the hell it was, because I wanted a couple of them on hand for the next plumbing emergency.

Monday flood | 5:58 am CDT
Category: adventures in plumbing, Our Humble O'Bode, random idiocy
1 Comment | Add a comment

Saturday, January 4th, 2020

My morning walk through Turville Park was a little shorter than planned, because the weather was a lot colder and windier than I thought it would be. I checked the temperature after I decided to go and was surprised to learn it was thirty degrees, which wouldn’t have been so bad if the wind had been calm, but it wasn’t. And I wanted to hike the trails out to Turville Point, where the winds off the lake were not slowed down one teensy-tiny little bit by the leafless trees in the park, so when I finally got there, I didn’t linger at all. In fact, by the time I got there I was moving at a pretty good clip just to keep warm, and only stopped maybe twice to get a good look at some trees which had fallen in the water along the shoreline. I paddled my kayak along this shore last summer and it was interesting to see it from this different angle. Interesting, but not engrossing. I finished my morning walk in about thirty minutes.

Because my plans changed from taking a little wander through the park to marching double-time to keep from freezing solid, I didn’t see much else while I was at the park but those fallen trees. I briefly caught sight of a large bird I thought may have been an owl swooping out of the upper branches of an oak tree. It had the impressive wingspan of a small aircraft and a barrel-shaped, thickly-feathered body, but as I got only the briefest glimpse of it as it flew away I can’t be sure what it was. I saw no other wildlife during my hurried visit, not even evidence of wildlife such as the rustling of leaf litter as squirrels hustled by. I didn’t even meet any other people out for an early walk in the chill of the morning. I believe I had the park all to myself.

Turville Point | 11:58 am CDT
Category: daily drivel
Comments Off on Turville Point

Friday, January 3rd, 2020

We had a somewhat unexpectedly big day here at our little red house: a small crew of men arrived in the early morning hours to knock the picture window out of the front of the house and replace it with a newer picture window. This was only somewhat unexpected because I actually contracted with a local business to do exactly what they did, but that was months ago, and it has taken so long to finalize the deal and get them to commit to a schedule that I frankly began to wonder if it was ever going to happen in my lifetime. Until yesterday morning.

I noticed I got a call from the contractor when I took my phone out of my pocket after I got to the office yesterday. I called them back right away — this was at about seven-thirty in the morning — and the guy who answered said something like, “I just want to make sure we’re still on for today.” And I answered, “On for today?” in the tone of voice of a person who isn’t sure exactly what he’s being asked to commit to, for the good reason that I wasn’t.

“Didn’t you get my voicemail yesterday?” he asked. “A couple of guys are going to replace your windows this morning.” When I asked what time we could expect a couple of random guys to show up at our house, he said probably between eight-thirty or nine o’clock.

“I wonder if you could hold off until I can make sure my wife is awake?” I asked, this time using the tone of voice of a person who was warning him not to wake my wife if he had any idea what was good for him.

By lucky chance, My Darling B was home from the office yesterday. Lucky, because one of us would have to be at home to let the workmen in so they could knock the old window out and install the new one. Unluckily, however, B took the day off from work so she could relax; you know, hang out in her pajamas with a hot mug of coffee and a book, which was very unlikely now that I knew big burly men were going to be hammering and drilling and tromping around in our living room. Also in our kitchen. They were going to replace the kitchen window, too.

I called B immediately after I got off the phone with the contractor, but she didn’t answer because it was seven-thirty in the morning and she would never be awake that early on a day when she does not have to get out of bed before she just naturally awakens, which normally happens any time after, say, nine o’clock, and sometimes much later. I called her again about ten minutes later and at ten-minute intervals after that until, at about twenty past eight, she finally answered. Before I could tell her much at all, she sleepily informed me a truck just dumped a pile of construction materials in our front yard. She even sent a photo of the pile to me via text message.

I quickly explained to her that several strange men would shortly ring our doorbell and ask to be let in so they could bash out the windows, and that she should probably think about gathering up the cats and sequestering them behind a closed door of one of the rooms in the house, or maybe I suggested that she put on some clothes first and then round up the cats. It’s hard to remember exactly how I conveyed to a very sleepy woman who had anticipated spending the day drinking hot coffee in the cozy comfort of her home would now have to look forward to a day of loud construction in the very rooms where she had hoped to lounge.

She was a little on the grumpy side of unhappy about this change of plans, as she had every right to be, but she managed to corral the cats and pull on some blue jeans and a sweatshirt in the few minutes she had left before the construction crew showed up. She spent most of the day barricaded in one of the bedrooms trying to stay our of their way and keep warm in a house that suddenly had a very large hole in it in the middle of winter. The hole was filled with a new window in just a few short hours, but the construction crew wasn’t done hammering and drilling until about three o’clock in the afternoon, so almost the entirety of B’s day off went down the tubes and she was still a tad grumpy by the time I returned home at five o’clock.

windowless | 6:36 am CDT
Category: ch-ch-changes, daily drivel, Our Humble O'Bode
Comments Off on windowless

Wednesday, January 1st, 2020

I thought I would have to fire up the snow blower for the first time in 2019 when I woke up in the morning of the very last day of that year to a fresh snowfall. My snow blower’s gasoline engine is reluctant to start after it’s been sitting unused all summer, so I dressed up in my warmest winter coat, knowing I could be out in the subfreezing weather for a while. As it turned out, I didn’t so much as lay a hand on my snow blower. There was less than a half-inch of snow on the driveway; if I had wheeled out the snow blower to remove that, it would have seemed to me at least like the most egregious misuse of a power tool imaginable. It was a preposterously simple matter to clear the driveway in just five minutes using the snow shovel. I wasn’t even winded when I finished. I probably could have used a push broom.

One of my neighbors, who owns one of the largest snow blowers I have ever seen, does not have the same reservations about how and when to use it that I had about mine. He’s one of those “I paid a lot of money for this power tool and I’m going to use it” kind of guys. His snow blower is taller than he is, and has a mouth wide enough to clear half his driveway in a single pass. After a heavy snowfall, witnessing it make short work of waist-high drifts of snow is an impressive sight to behold. Seeing him use it to clear a half-inch of snow is another thing entirely. I was at the end of my drive, clearing away the inch-high ridge of snow left behind by the city snow plow crew after they cleared our street, when I heard the roar of his snow blower coming to life. I stopped what I was doing and used my shovel as a prop to rest my arm on while I watched him follow his behemoth to the end of his driveway, maneuver it through a 180-degree turn, then follow it back up to his house, all the while wreathed by the faintest haze of snow thrown into the air as a thin, insubstantial whisp that blew apart in the breeze the moment it exited the chute off the top of his snow blower. He tried to make a bigger production of it by spending some extra time at the end of the driveway making sure he got all the snow left behind by the city plow, but it hardly took him five minutes to do the whole thing. I bet the engine on his snow blower didn’t even get warm.

Ordinarily I wouldn’t have even bothered to shovel so little snow off the driveway because I’m pretty lazy when it comes to yard work, to be frank. I should probably hire some of the more enterprising neighborhood teenagers to cut the grass and shovel the driveway, but as well as being lazy I’m also a skinflint, so to this day I still do my own mowing and shoveling and other yard work, but only when I feel I absolutely have to. Yesterday afternoon was one of those times. Our good friends, Becky and John, were coming over later in the afternoon to go out to dinner with us, then come back to our little red house to spend new year’s eve playing games, and I didn’t want them to have to trudge through even as little as a half-inch of snow, because who would do that to their good friends?

We had a very casual dinner at a popular local pizza parlor not far from our house. We figured we’d have a quick dinner there, then return to play games while we noshed on some snacky foods and finally toast the new year, not necessarily at midnight because none of us are spring chickens any more. We ended up spending a bit more time at the pizza parlor than we had planned, about three and a half hours! I can’t account for this. It’s normally a popular place but there didn’t seem to be any more customers than we usually saw; in fact, I spotted empty tables and stools at the bar from time to time, but the wait staff were obviously running their legs off. We didn’t even see our waitress until about fifteen minutes after we were seated when she paused briefly — and I mean very briefly — to apologize for then wait, then add she’d be back in just two more minutes before she dashed away again. She didn’t give us enough time to ask for water. And she wasn’t back in two minutes.

When she did come back, ten minutes later, she stayed only long enough to get our drinks order before rushing off again. We managed to slip in a request for some fried cheese curds, too, but just barely. She swooped in to dive-bomb the table with John’s beer minutes later, explaining his order was easiest to fill because it came in a bottle. Becky got her cocktail about five minutes later, while Barb’s sat at the end of the bar at least ten minutes, for some reason. I got my beer last, many more minutes after B’s cocktail was delivered. If I recall correctly, the cheese curds arrived after we all raised our glasses to toast the new year, but the waitress didn’t take our dinner order until we were burping contentedly after finishing off all of the cheese curds and had nearly made our way to the bottoms of all of our drinks.

So you get the idea: service was slow and the main courses didn’t arrive until well past the time we thought we’d be on our way home. We weren’t in a terribly big hurry, though, so it’s not like we felt like complaining about it, but damned if we wouldn’t make fun of it a little bit.

Back at our little red house, I popped open a bottle of bubbly, poured a glass for everyone and we shared a toast to the new year, again. Then we played a very silly card game that required us to shout out words and phrases that were improbable under any other circumstances that didn’t involve prosecco, and had a pretty good time doing it.

new years eve | 1:01 pm CDT
Category: beer, booze, daily drivel, entertainment, food & drink, play, restaurants | Tags: , , , ,
Comments Off on new years eve

Monday, December 30th, 2019

The thermometer says it isn’t any colder out now than it was when I left the house at eight-thirty. My butt, on the other hand, says it is. I want to believe the thermometer, but I have to live in the same set of clothes with my butt, so I believe it’s colder.

Actually, I believe it’s the same temperature but I know it feels colder now that the wind has picked up from being nearly dead calm when I left the house, to blowing briskly and mercilessly now. Also, I had to walk home through a headwind, and that’s always good for making the weather feel a lot cooler.

Speaking of a lot cooler, I had to peel out of my coat during yesterday’s walk; it was warm enough to walk the streets in my shirtsleeves, and a lot of other people were doing it, too. The day before that, it was colder than it is today. Winter in Wisconsin; if you don’t like the weather, wait a couple hours.

frozen butt | 11:27 am CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags: ,
Comments Off on frozen butt

Sunday, December 29th, 2019

Everyone drinks coffee to kickstart their morning, so why doesn’t everyone drink it straight, dark, bitter? I don’t understand why anybody puts stuff in coffee. Milk, sugar, syrup — it all takes the edge off, so what’s the point? If you want a frou-frou drink with frou-frou smells first thing in the morning, drink tea.

coffee vs tea | 9:43 am CDT
Category: coffee, food & drink, yet another rant
Comments Off on coffee vs tea

Saturday, December 28th, 2019

I didn’t have enough vacation time this year to take last Thursday and Friday off, which a lot of people did, so I was in the office, bleary-eyed and not especially bushy-tailed, before the sun came up on Thursday morning.

The office was silent as a graveyard. I debated with myself over whether or not to make coffee. I myself was going to drink tea that morning, and I figured that the few people who were in to work that morning would be Keurig-users. The people who drink from the pot seem to be mostly management types, and I figured they wouldn’t be around. But, what the heck, I brewed a pot anyway and made it strong, just in case there was anyone in the office who needed a kick in the pants that morning.

Lucky thing, because there was more than one. I went back to the kitchen at about nine-thirty to make myself another cuppa and saw the pot was almost empty. Must have been more than a few people who needed a jolt that morning. Brewed another strong pot that was almost gone before lunch time.

Same thing happened Friday morning. There must have been a lot more people working the in-between days than I thought, and apparently they didn’t get much sleep.

Making coffee at work | 4:48 pm CDT
Category: coffee, coworkers, daily drivel, food & drink, office work, work
Comments Off on Making coffee at work

Tuesday, December 24th, 2019

melted coffee pot“Do you smell something burning?” My Darling B asked me the other night as I was watching something on television.

I put the program I was watching on pause, because that’s how you smell things better, and sniffed the air.

“No,” I answered, “but then I can’t smell much at all right now.” We’re both getting over headcolds that were so bad they would, in the middle ages, have been characterized as some version of the plague, or at least a witch’s curse.

B went back to doinking around on Facebook and didn’t appear to be too concerned, so I continued watching television for exactly one and a half minutes, stopping when B looked up again, sniffed the air and said, “Something *is* burning.”

I paused the video again and sniffed the air. Nothing. I looked around for signs of smoke, but didn’t see anything like that, either. B waited about ten seconds for me to get up and look around, but my feeling was that if she wasn’t concerned enough about the smell of something burning to get up herself, then I wasn’t too worried, either, particularly when I didn’t smell anything at all.

She went through the dining room into the kitchen. “Oh, SHIT!”

Well. That’s probably not good.

After finally levering my butt off the sofa and joining B in the kitchen, I found that the coffee pot I set on the stove top when cleaning up after dinner was leaning at an angle toward the small burner in the front corner which was, coincidentally, still switched on at a very low setting but still hot enough, evidently, to melt the plastic base of the coffee pot. We have a stove with one of those flat black ceramic tops that heats up pots and pans by way of magic. We frequently use it as extra counter space because our kitchen is so small, even though we know that’s probably not a good idea, for obvious reasons. I rescued what was left of the coffee pot, then fetched a putty knife from the garage and scraped as much of the melted plastic as I could off the stove top.

We were still going to need the coffee pot in the morning, so I whittled down a cork from a wine bottle and hot-glued it into the gap melted out of the bottom of the pot, giving it a pirate’s peg-leg so it could stand upright on the countertop in the morning. It’ll serve until its replacement arrives in the mail sometime after the holidays.

And for the foreseeable future I guess I’ll have to jump whenever B asks if I smell something burning.

sniffing the air | 10:47 am CDT
Category: fun with electricity, housekeeping, random idiocy
Comments Off on sniffing the air

Sunday, December 22nd, 2019

I am so sick of being sick. I feel like if I don’t stop coughing soon my sides will cramp up so hard I’ll never be able to relax my muscles again and I’ll walk around bent over like an ambulatory question mark for the rest of my life.

cramp | 1:19 pm CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
Comments Off on cramp

Friday, December 20th, 2019

And once again I’m home doing my best to recover from an attack of the coughing crud. I’m not sure if I’ve had a relapse of the old coughing crud I thought I’d gotten over, or this is a different strain of coughing crud that I was fortunate enough to collect right after the first run of crud. So far, I’ve got the complete set! Yay me!

I’ve been coughing and crudding since Monday night, forcing myself to go back to work and tough it out every day because I was working on a huge project that I finished yesterday. Then this morning when my alarm went off I hit snooze for the first time in years, and when I finally did roll out of bed and shamble towards the bathroom, I got about halfway there before I thought to myself, screw it, there’s no way I’m going to work today.

So I called in, fed the cats, and made a pot of coffee, in that order, then settled in for a long day of hacking and coughing and blowing my nose a lot. Managed to do just a little light housework, too, so I could justify staying home all day, because I’ve been a guilt-ridden neurotic since the day I was born so I feel I have to justify taking a day off even when the microbial world is conspiring to murder me.

home alone | 2:38 pm CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
Comments Off on home alone

Monday, December 9th, 2019

I called mom last night and one of the topics of conversation was my upcoming 60th birthday, which is in fact a year and three days from now but I didn’t correct her because, you know, 59, 60, what’s the difference?

She brings it up the topic of my age more often than she used to because she can’t get her head around the idea that the child she gave birth to seems to be as old as she is. “You can’t be 60,” she said. “I’m 60!” I totally get what she means. I usually feel like I’m about thirty years old, until I throw my back out bending over to pick up a cat toy, or stop to catch my breath as I’m scrubbing the bathtub. Being 59 (or 60, whatever) feels like that shouldn’t happen, but it does.

Fifty nine | 6:04 am CDT
Category: falling apart, Life & Death
Comments Off on Fifty nine

Saturday, December 7th, 2019

We still have the plague here. B thought it skipped her but she started feeling sick maybe three or four days ago and yesterday her boss sent her home from work. She’s got the same symptoms I had, stuffy head and hacking up gobbets of gross gunk.

I keep saying I’m on the upswing now and mostly that seems to be true, but I still have episodes when I can feel a pocket of something deep in the back of my head give way and the next few sloppy minutes will be me continually blowing hard through my nose into yards and yards of toilet paper, sooo gross.

plague update | 6:38 am CDT
Category: falling apart | Tags:
Comments Off on plague update

Boo let me know it was time to get up and feed her by jumping on my bladder, walking across my stomach and clawing at the box spring after jumping to the floor as noisily as a five-pound cat can. It was quarter to four in the morning. So I got up and fed her, as you do. Six hours of sleep it enough, right?

She was sleeping with us because she’s in recovery after we had to take her to the vet who drained an abscess in her face. Boo’s face, not the vet’s. The vet had to yank five of Boo’s teeth out, too, probably making the whole deal a fairly traumatic experience, so we let her into the bedroom to cuddle up with us while she’s recovering.

We stopped letting the cats sleep with us when they learned that I really hate it when they walk on my face. After they acquired that knowledge, they did it all the time. If you’ve never wanted to strangle a cat with your bare hands, you’ve never had one walk on your face while you’re sound asleep.

They walk on my face because I’m the one who feeds them (somehow that ended up as part of my job description; I need a better union rep) and they know that I’ll get up and feed them if only to stop them from walking on my face. Locking them out of the bedroom restored regular feeding hours. I also got more sleep, which didn’t suck.

After losing most of her molars and one of her fangs, Boo has officially crossed the line into the soft-food phase of her life, and she’s enjoying it. Tiki Cat three times a day! Scooter and Sparky are insane with jealousy.

solid six | 5:46 am CDT
Category: Boo, sleeplessness | Tags:
Comments Off on solid six

Wednesday, December 4th, 2019

I am so sick of breathing through my mouth.

And coughing. I could do without coughing for a while.

gasp | 6:35 am CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
Comments Off on gasp

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2019

So now it’s day seven of the monster death head cold. I thought I was on the upswing but now I’m not so sure. I spent about half the night breathing through my mouth which means I spent half the night not sleeping because I can’t sleep when I have to breathe through my mouth, pretty much a replay of the night before. Thank goodness for coffee. I’ll be drinking gallons of that stuff all day.

gasp cough snort | 6:14 am CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
Comments Off on gasp cough snort

Saturday, November 30th, 2019

And today is day four of the death monster head cold from beyond the stars, which means I’ve reached the point in my illness when I’m so frustrated about having to breathe through my mouth all the time that I fantasize about going down to the work bench looking for power tools to relieve the congestion. Or even a toilet plunger. I imagine it would be so easy to suck all the gunk out of my nose it almost makes me cry. If I thought I could get one to fit tightly over my face, I wouldn’t even stop to rinse it off.

I woke up in the middle of the night to visit the bathroom and while I was there, the thick curtain of mucus blocking my sinuses parted just long enough for me to grab a couple quick breaths through my nose. Seizing the moment, I snatched a yard or two of toilet paper from the roller and blew with all my might, relieving my nasal passages of gallons of the stickiest goo ever conceived of. There was so much goo I had to grab another handful of toilet paper and blow, and when that didn’t get the job done I grabbed more, wondering how much there could possibly be.

Turned out my nose was bleeding, which happens to me commonly in the dry weather of winter, and especially when I’m sick, so I tipped my head back and pinched my nostrils together until the bleeding stopped. On the way out the thought struck me I should turn on the lights to see if I needed to clean up at all and HOLY CRAP IT LOOKED LIKE I’D BEEN SLAUGHTERING PIGS IN THERE! Spent five minutes with a damp cloth mopping up the blood I sprayed on the tub, tiles, wall and rug.

In spite of not being able to breathe all that easily, I managed to sleep until about six-thirty this morning, almost eight hours, before I gave up and started a pot boiling for coffee. A little java in the morning clears the clotted grunge from my throat like a shot of Drano, so I choke down half a cup even though it makes my head pound. After coffee, it’s green tea all day long. It seems to soothe my throat or at least I imagine it does. The steam rising from the cup feels good, too.

Synonym for stuffed | 11:04 am CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
Comments Off on Synonym for stuffed

Friday, November 29th, 2019

It’s about quarter to nine on Friday morning, the day after Thanksgiving, and my sinuses are still stuffed full of whatever nasty goop sinuses fill up with when they’re infected by whatever nasty bug I got infected by. I got a pretty solid six, maybe seven hours of sleep last night before I couldn’t breath through my nose any longer; I can’t sleep when I’m forced to breath through my mouth, so I passed a half-hour or so rolling from one side to the other, loosening up the gunk that was plugging my head. When it was finally ready to harvest, I rolled out of bed, toddled off to the bathroom, yanked a couple yards of toilet paper off the roll and blew and blew and blew and blew and blew and I still didn’t get all the gunk out. It’s going to be an all-day project.

stuffed | 8:55 am CDT
Category: Life & Death | Tags:
Comments Off on stuffed

Thursday, November 28th, 2019

It’s about twelve-thirty as I type these words and I should be about halfway to Arkansas right now. My Darling B and I had plans to travel to my mom’s house, where we would stay for three nights over the holiday weekend. For a while earlier this week it looked as though the weather might derail our plans but that turned out not to be the case. Instead, I fell victim to a virus that’s been going around. It started with a scratchy throat on Tuesday, blew up into congestion that filled my sinuses from top to bottom with goo more powerfully sticky than anything Gorilla Glue makes, and which left me weak and sleepy and worn-out as a bald tire. I got a solid eight hours of sleep last night with the help of a shot of Nyquil before bed, so I almost feel as though I’m starting to come back from the worst of the congested sinuses and cruddy throat. If I can get a nap and another solid night’s sleep, I just might come back from this by Saturday or Sunday, and that would be a very good thing. Nothing worse than staring into a computer screen all day Monday with a head cold pounding away at my skull.

over the river | 12:36 pm CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags: ,
Comments Off on over the river

Sunday, November 24th, 2019

I think a shower couldn’t possibly feel better than right after I’ve been cleaning the toilet, unless it’s after cleaning the toilet and dredging great big greasy blobs of hair out of the drain in the bathtub.

Our Little Red House is sixty-four years old, which means I’ve been through some pretty gnarly adventures in plumbing because sixty-five-year-old plumbing gives a house a lot of personality. The bathtub, for instance, drains into a drum trap, which means it tends to fill up with hair spiders and gobbets of grease. A drum trap has a lid you can remove to clean it out, but I’m not doing that because yuck, and also because the trap is above a finished ceiling I’m not going to cut a hole in just because some hair balled up in the bathtub drain. What I do instead is run water down the tub’s vent while I use a toilet plunger to plunge the drain. The scary-looking crap that come up out of the drain after I vigorously plunge it a dozen or so times would make you scream for your mama.

Compared to the grunginess I feel after plunging out the tub’s drain, cleaning the toilet is relatively benign, but it’s still a toilet and the brush still sprays my arms and sometimes my face as I scrub out the bowl. I would pay so much money for a toilet brush that didn’t spray, but what I’d really like to spend so much money on (and I know I’m sounding like a broken record about this subject) is a toilet that cleans itself. Landing on the moon is cool and all, but a self-cleaning toilet is what I would consider the epitome of technological advancement.

So after covering myself in the grunge from the bathtub drain and getting sprayed with toilet water, I took an almost indecently long, scalding hot shower and enjoyed every second of it like I’ve enjoyed only a handful of showers in my life.

most enjoyable shower | 2:36 pm CDT
Category: adventures in plumbing, housekeeping, Our Humble O'Bode, random idiocy, scrub-a-dub-dub, yet another rant
Comments Off on most enjoyable shower

Wednesday, November 20th, 2019

We were wondering the other day if there’s a word or phrase to describe songs you’re done with. I mean, other than the phrase I just used. I was thinking maybe there’s an already-established phrase, or one of those mile-long Latin words. That’s what we were wondering about. But “songs you’re done with” will work just fine, too.

I don’t remember which song came on the radio to make us think about this, but for instance: “Another One Bites The Dust” is a song I’m done with. I still think it’s a perfectly good song and I’m not suggesting it should be banned from the airwaves or anything like that; all I’m saying is that I’ve heard it approximately forty-two million times, so I’m done hearing it. If I’m flipping through radio stations and I hear it, I don’t even pause. There is no desire to stop. I’m done hearing it. The audio teleomere in my brain that marked the number of times I would ever want to hear that song (among others) has been set to zero.

Oh, I remember the song that started this conversation: Frank Sinatra’s recording of “My Way.” In a story on NPR yesterday morning they claimed that this was the most-requested song at karaoke bars and funerals, just one more good reason to avoid both, in my opinion.

songs you’re done with | 6:05 am CDT
Category: entertainment, music, random idiocy
Comments Off on songs you’re done with

Tuesday, November 19th, 2019

I spent the weekend with My Darling B doing pretty much nothing, and apparently we needed a weekend just like that because we slept like bears in hibernation.

We didn’t do exactly nothing. We did, in fact, travel to Lake Mills, Wisconsin, to attend the twentieth anniversary party of the Tyranena Brewery (long may they continue to brew the most delicious beer in Jefferson County!), an event where we mostly sat quietly sampling various wonderful brews and noshing on noshies. Low-impact events are our lifestyle now.

The beers that Tyranena makes, though, tend to be very boozy, so we didn’t drink very many of them before we had to lie down go night-night.

We spent all day Sunday just reading or watching TV, and were both in bed by eight. Lights-out for me was eight-thirty or nine, and I slept like the dead until four o’clock Monday morning, at which point my brain said AWAKEN, so I had no choice but to go make a pot of coffee and bimble about the house.

not much how about you | 6:14 am CDT
Category: beer, festivals, food & drink, play, sleeplessness, travel
Comments Off on not much how about you