This Is Drivel

Month: October 2010

  • Pound Sand

    I was almost supernaturally compelled to write to Grant and Martha, the hosts of A Way With Words, after I heard a listener who spoke Swahili call in to ask why people say “slept like a log” because, obviously, logs don’t sleep much. He was calling as much to find out the origin of the… Read.

  • The Keys to Love

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    I came within seconds of buying another old typewriter I found at the thrift store today. Not the one in the picture. That one was way too expensive. They were asking so much that I got the feeling it would still be there next week at a greatly reduced price, even though I don’t know… Read.

  • Book ’em, Danno

    I was served notice by the book police this week, nothing truly criminal but every bit as determined as a real-life summons. I opened the envelope that came to our mailbox from the Monona Public Library with no small amount of trepidation. They’re so strapped for cash they don’t mail anything unless they’re about to… Read.

  • Hobson’s Choice

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    Picking me up after work this evening, My Darling B advised me that for dinner we could go have pizza at Roman Candle or go have pizza at Mickey’s. Hobson’s Choice, in other words. We ended up at Mickey’s, largely because we didn’t have to double back through traffic to get there. Both of us… Read.

  • Zombie Dogs

    I never thought about the zombie apocalypse in this way before, but I think Alessandra Stanley may be on to something: All it really takes to outrun a zombie is a car. Also, a bullet to the head will stop one cold. And that may explain why so many men prefer zombies to vampires: zombie… Read.

  • Hot Stuff

    There are just two microwave ovens in the break room at work, and maybe two-dozen people, but unfortunately they all want to nuke their food at the same time. And we’ve only got forty-five minutes for lunch. Just one microwave was humming when I walked in yesterday. Popping the door on the one that wasn’t… Read.

  • Vote For Todd

    Riding home from work yesterday afternoon, we listened to a conversation between Ben Merens and Todd Kolosso that had us hanging on every word. Tod Kolosso is the Democratic candidate for the 5th District seat in Wisconsin, and after Merens let him spout a bunch of the usual crap about being an ordinary average guy… Read.

  • Sit On It

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    I have to tell you I’m still happy to be employed, but I think I sit on this job more than I have on any other job I’ve ever held before. It sounds like a strange observation to make, but at one point this afternoon I felt as if I was literally putting down roots… Read.

  • Pilsbury doughboy

    A guy I’d never met before stopped by my desk at work to ask me if I wanted to participate in a chili cook-off. I didn’t want to, so I told him that my cooking skills stopped somewhere between making toast and scrambling eggs, which wasn’t too far from the truth. He chuckled and said,… Read.

  • Iron Man 2

    Tim came over last night and we all watched Iron Man 2, which was plenty of fun even though we had a few criticisms of it. “There wasn’t enough robot-shooting,” for instance, Tim pointed out, while My Darling B thought it was “practically all robot-shooting.” You can’t please everyone. B also was confused about what… Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend