Sunday, December 28th, 2014

Did anybody really think that pro football was on the way out? That was the first of “Five Myths about 2014” published in this morning’s Washington Post. Where’d that idea come from?

I won’t lie: I think it would be very cool if I was never again stuck in an elevator with someone who asked me, in a tone of voice that people typically reserve for describing the wonders of the universe, “Did you see that pass Aaron Rodgers threw last night?” Football nerds don’t realize that the only difference between them and Star Trek fans who geek out over Kirk and Spock and Ceti Alpha Four is that, um. Well, to be honest, I don’t know the difference between football nerds and Trekkers. They’re like tigers and leopards to me; two kinds of cats, but one has stripes instead of spots.

Stuck in an elevator with a football nerd asking me questions, I’ve got to decide on one of three responses: I can fake it and say something like, “Yeah, wow, that was really something, wasn’t it?” The odds are about even that the other person will go ahead and babble about the game for as long as it takes for me to get to my floor and make my escape. That’s the best-case scenario right there.

But the odds are about as good that I’ll be called on to answer at least one more question about last night’s game, and that’s when my house of cards falls down. I can’t convincingly fake more than one answer, and nobody likes a faked answer anyway, so lately I’ve been going for a more a more ambiguous answer like, “No, I missed the game, was it really good?” Again, if this response works the way it should, all I have to do is smile and nod until the elevator reaches my floor.

Ambiguous is almost as deceitful as fake, but it’s a lot better than outing myself as a pro football atheist. I’d rather listen to other people babble happily for a minute or two about Aaron Rodgers, whoever he is, than to pop their bubble by forcing them to confront the reality that there are people walking around in their world who don’t believe pro sports is the end-all, be-all of existence.

But as much as I would like it if I never again had to endure the geeky babble of pro football fans, why would anybody ever believe that it might be coming to an end? Pro football will always be out there even if, like Star Trek, it hits a few rough patches, or goes through a brief period where it is slightly less popular with the general public. The die-hard fans will keep it going long enough for the inevitable reboot that will make it explode into popularity again.

just another nerdity | 8:19 am CDT
Category: current events
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