Sunday, September 1st, 2013

George ClooneyGeorge Clooney offered me a job last night. I think.

I was on vacation on a canal barge with a big family. They let me come along for free because I knew how to pilot the canal barge. I was in the pilot house with the father of the family and the owner of the barge, and the owner was giving us hell because we did something to the roof of the barge that made him very unhappy. He was going on and on about it for so long that I lost interest, turned to look around and there was George Clooney with an assistant, patiently waiting for a break in the conversation.

I was so astounded to see George Clooney that I couldn’t think of anything to say, not even “Hi,” so I smiled weakly and raised my hand in a sort of wave. He smiled in that jaunty way that only George Clooney can, shook my hand and said something I didn’t understand at all, but he turned and left before I could ask him what he meant. His assistant, however, remained behind, so I asked her, “Did he just offer me a job?”

“Yep,” she said.

“Well, what is the job?”

She didn’t know.

“How can I find out?”

She said she would ask, and she dug around in her tiny little purse until she found a slip of paper with George Clooney’s number on it, punched it up on her cell phone, and exchanged a few words with George. “He said he didn’t want to talk about it on the phone. He wants to meet you again.”

She led me to a children’s museum, then said she had to go but, before she left, gave me directions to the room where George Clooney would meet me. It was one of those children’s museums where I had to climb ladders, crawl through tunnels and feel my way through darkened rooms to get from one side of the museum to the other. At one point, I had to get down on my hands and knees to shuffle through a hobbit-like home. One of the kids ahead of me had puked on the floor and I thought, as I was trying to figure out how to get through without getting vomit all over me, This had better be one really awesome job.

And that’s when I woke up.

new job? | 8:17 am CDT
Category: daily drivel, dreams
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