Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

This is day three of hearing the theme song from Game of Thrones droning in my head all day long. Tim lent us his five-DVD set of the first season and we watched the whole thing last week, staying up until eleven-thirty Sunday night to watch the last four episodes. And no spoilers or anything but I’ve just got to ask: Is John Snow going to be a sullen jerk all the way to the end of the series? Because I’m not sure I can watch his brooding face for one more minute. Guy’s a bastard and everybody keeps reminding him of it, I get that, but he grew up with more privileges than ninety-nine percent of anybody else in the kingdom. Why can’t he just get over it and press on? But no, he’s all, Nobody understands my troubles because nobody has any idea what my troubles are all about. Little emo kid needs a good spanking is what I think. When winter finally comes, maybe one of those White Walkers will be the one to give it to him, turn him into a blue-eyed zombie that gets all sad and lonely after trashing a village.

And while I’m pissing and moaning about the show, that elevator going a thousand feet up the side of The Wall is not possible! Made out of rough-hewn timber and iron, it must weigh at least a ton, but one guy turns a crank and lifts it all the way up to the top? Give me a break! You’d have to drive a team of horses to exhaustion turning that crank a hundred thousand times before that elevator would reach the top! And what the hell good do those Black Watch guys do up there, anyway? The action’s all on the ground, and every time something happens they come down. They don’t seem to do anything up there but stare out over the frozen north and repeat, “Winter’s coming,” and other cryptic sayings. Oh, and Mister Emo broods a lot up there. It’s a great place for him to hang out.

Okay, I’ll stop being so negative now. I like Sean Bean’s character, but it was pretty transparent from the start that he was going to die because, well, he’s Sean Bean. That’s what Sean Bean does. He dies. Very tragically. No spoilers there.

And I like the Lannisters quite a lot. Rat bastards, all of them, but honest about it, especially Jaimie. Utterly ruthless about absolutely everything he does, and always a heartbeat away from slitting the throat of virtually everyone he meets. Not someone you want to piss off. Tyrion’s got to be the most honest of the lot. I’m pretty sure he’s spoken the absolute truth to everyone he’s met. Naturally, nobody will listen to him. Cersei, the queen, is the least interesting of the Lannisters, a conniving bitch typical of stories about royal intrigue. She was good for a plot twist, but all she’s been doing since then is scheming and sneering. Her son has turned out to be a lot more interesting than she is and, with any luck, he’ll put a knife in her throat next season. He’s just the guy to do it, too.

thrones | 5:26 am CST
Category: entertainment, play, television
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