Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Right in the middle of the movie The Adjustment Bureau when the men in the sinister gray hats lost control of Matt Damon, they called in “The Hammer” to fix things. If you were a movie director and you had to cast a guy who would look menacing just by walking into the scene, who would you have called? Remember, it would have to be somebody who would look menacing in a fedora. Myself, I would have called Christopher Walken. I’m pretty sure he could look menacing wearing a beanie. In fact, I think he would look even more menacing wearing a beanie than not.

But they didn’t call Christopher Walken, and too bad. They called Terence Stamp. It puzzles me that people find Terrance Stamp menacing. Maybe I don’t have enough history with Terence. Maybe he use to play nothing but total badasses back in his heyday and that’s why they cast him to be Superman’s archenemy Zod in Superman 2. Too bad that was the most cringingly bad Superman movie ever made (the one with Richard Pryor was merely laughably bad) and the memory I took away from it was Terence Stamp uttering, in what I can only imagine was meant to be an imperious manner, the line “Kneel before Zod!” Since he was supposed to be a villain so badass that he kicked Superman around the block, I’m sure he was meant to be menacing, but when he barked this command at a cowering E.G. Marshall, it only made him look like a dork. The space suit that looked like it was made out of heavy-duty Hefty bags didn’t help, either.

Should’ve gone with Walken.

stamp | 4:52 pm CST
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