Saturday, August 6th, 2011

Started off as such a good night …

After work, we stopped by Star Liquor to pick up some cool, refreshing libations for the weekend, then swung over a couple blocks to visit the Old Sugar Distillery for a snort before heading home. My Darling B was delighted to learn they were now distilling a whiskey made from sorghum. I thought it was waayyyy too potent for my delicate sensibilities, but B seemed to like it. I could see her trying to figure out what it would mix best with.

Back at Our Humble O’Bode, B made a salad for dinner, a little toasted bread on the side with two kinds of pesto and a little diced tomato for toppings, and – make a note of this, it’s important for later – fresh mozzarella balls. I love mozzarella and can normally tolerate it as a topping if I down an anti-lactase pill or two, but the last time I had fresh mozzarella balls the results were not pleasant, so this time I only had two and took two anti-lactase pills, one before we ate and one after.

When I finished cleaning up after dinner, B mixed a nightcap for each of us – mango mojitos, yum! – and we settled down together on the sofa to catch up on the episodes of The Daily Show that we missed this week. Then, sufficiently serensified, pleasantly buzzed, comically relieved and end-of-the-week tired, I turned in just before the clock struck ten and fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Midnight. Woke up. Stomach bloated like there’s a midget in there. A big one, but a midget none-the-less. He’s pounding on the walls of my stomach like he’s throwing a tantrum. I rolled out of bed to dig up a couple of Gas-X caplets from the storehouse of OTC drugs in the bathroom, tottered off to the kitchen to down them with a glass of ice water. When the pounding felt like it was fading about ten minutes later I went back to bed, but as soon as I laid down I knew I was still too bloated to go back to sleep, so I crawled back out of bed and sat up in the living room for a while, reading stupid crap on the internet.

By one-thirty I was feeling almost normal enough to take a stab at going back to bed. When I got there, though, I found B right smack dab in the middle of it and Bonkers taking up most of the rest of what is normally my side of the bed. I was left with just enough to lay on if I curled myself into a tight little fetal ball with my butt on the very edge of the mattress. If I had managed to fall asleep that way, I would have probably found myself snapping awake on the way to hitting the floor just after the first time I twitched. Cuddling up as close to B as I could, I found room to stretch out a bit by shoving the cat aside. Shortly after that, B rolled over toward her side of the bed and I finally had enough room.

I also had something in my eye. I tried to ignore it, but it was like laughing in church. Whatever it was felt like it got bigger and bigger until I was sure I had a tree in my eye so, bowing to the inevitable, I trudged to the bathroom to get it out. No matter how long I looked I couldn’t find anything stuck in my lower lid, where I thought I felt it, or in my upper lid, where I was sure it had to be after failing to find it under my lower lid. Banged into the wall on my way back to the bedroom because my night vision was completely gone after staring into the bathroom lights. Stubbed my toe on a laundry basket in the bedroom, too.

Almost drifted off to sleep when one of the cats – Bonkers, I think – rolled over and the tip of one of his ears just barely touched my ankle, went twitch twitch twitch until I rearranged myself so his ear wasn’t touching me any more. I must have roused Boo from her slumber, because she yawned and stretched and caught one of her claws in my shin.

And on and on the night went, with me getting lest restful the longer I laid in bed. Some time shortly after I heard the clock chime three I said fuck it and got out of bed again. B didn’t seem to be having too much trouble snoozing while I tossed and turned, but I was starting to feel the ultimate frustration of sleeplessness after lying in the dark wide awake for hours.

And how was your Friday?

bloated | 3:36 am CST
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
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