Monday, August 1st, 2011

*SPOILER ALERT!* If you’re looking forward to seeing Cowboys & Aliens, you probably shouldn’t read any further because I’m going to give away everything I can think of.

We played a game of Clichés as we drove home after seeing Cowboys & Aliens and came up with:

Man with No Name walks into troubled town in the wild west, can beat up anybody without even trying.

Grizzled cattle rancher owns the town, treats everyone in it like shit. Has son who’s even more of a douchebag than he is.

Aliens abduct people “to learn our weaknesses.” Aliens are hulking huge armor-plated gorillas that can run faster than horses, mouths are gaping maws of slavering fangs, have daggers for fingernails. Our “weakness” is that we are gummy bears compared to them. Aliens get pwned anyway.

Aliens have invented a laser gun with targeting software that can’t hit anything you point it at. Unless you’re the Man with No Name.

Dork who can’t hit the side of a barn with a rifle manages to shoot brains out of alien at critical moment.

giveaway | 9:03 pm CST
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
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3 Comments

  1. 1 The Seanster said at 1:13 am on August 5th, 2011:

    Dude! You forgot that Man With No Name had lost a Dear Love (a Frontier Prostitute With A Heart Of Gold, natch), and that Hot Empowered Woman sympathized and eased his pain!

    Also, Asshole Cattle Rancher and Brave Assimilated Indian tell each other, “I’ve always thought of you as a father”–“I’ve always wanted a son like you”, as Brave Assimilated Indian dies in Asshole Cattle Rancher’s arms!

    Asshole Cattle Rancher brings Douchebag Son into the business, thereby improving Douchebag Son’s self-esteem and attitude.

    Finally, Miraculously Sniper-Skilled Dork is the Disaffected Barkeep Who Wishes He Had Stayed Back East.

  2. 2 Dave said at 3:03 am on August 6th, 2011:

    No, see, I knew SOMEBODY would jump in and provide the ones I forgot. Thanks, Seanster.

  3. 3 The Seanster said at 6:04 pm on August 6th, 2011:

    Anytime. :)

    I’ll let Mom insert the ones pertaining to the Wild and Noble Apaches…