Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

This is a sea horse

And now, time for Ask An Atheist:

Q: How can you have any morals if you don’t believe in god?

A: For many years I’ve heard atheists dance around this question, claiming they can form their own perfectly respectable moral codes using logic or ethics or some rhetorical bullshit that sounds almost plausible, but here, for the first time, I’ll let you in on a little secret that we all admit to each other: You’re right. It turns out it’s definitively impossible to have any kind of valid morals without divine guidance. Self-control goes right out the window the moment you veer from the straight and narrow. Just as an example, I myself strangle four or five, sometimes even six puppies a week, for no good reason at all. On weekends I’ll drown as many as two-dozen kittens before lunch. It’s appalling, but I can’t help it. And that’s just one small way that I’m utterly and completely without moral guidance. Just don’t even ask me to babysit for you.

Your Argument Is Invalid | 9:00 pm CDT
Category: hobby | Tags:
5 Comments | Add a comment


  1. 1 Tim said at 9:23 pm on March 2nd, 2011:

    Have you ever heard a real live person ask this question? I never have.

  2. 2 Dave said at 5:44 am on March 3rd, 2011:

    Nope. And a good thing, too, because I feel the same way you do about questions like this one and I don’t want to poke my eyeballs out. But I will if I have to.

  3. 3 Tim said at 9:25 pm on March 2nd, 2011:

    oh and if I ever did hear it I would probably just poke my eyeballs out in frustration.

    (Ruined 2 good sets of eyeballs this way. Not a recommended venting practice)

  4. 4 Mark said at 3:17 pm on March 3rd, 2011:

    I got something similar once. At a dinner party I was told that I couldn’t possibly be raising moral kids without religion. Needless to say that sit all that well with me.

  5. 5 The Seanster said at 5:44 pm on March 6th, 2011:

    “Your arguement is invalid?”

    I am disturbed by the lack of proper spelling (or grammar) in internet memes…