Friday, November 26th, 2010

If I took any truths away from the movie Fair Game, based on the book by Valarie Plame, it was these:

I HATE SHAKY CAM! There has got to be a better way to make big-budget movies look like low-budget documentaries that doesn’t make the finished product look like the director forced a double-shot of espresso down the throat of the cameraman before every take, or he snuck up behind the cameraman in the middle of the shot and gave him a Wet Willie.

Sean Penn is old. I feel this is my fault, not his. Every time I’ve seen him in a movie my brain does this trick where it takes the image coming in from the movie screen and photoshops him so he looks to be about Spicoli’s age, but for some reason it didn’t do that this time. He looked like an old guy this time. Not really old, but about middle age. Say, about my age. Which he is. My fault again.

The CIA headquarters building you see in every movie has got to be a movie set. Every movie about the CIA starts with the same aerial shot of the headquarters building, and I’m pretty sure the CIA ninjas would never let any aircraft get that close. It’s got to be a plastic model, maybe ten, twelve inches high, and they take out back of the sound stage, drop it on an anthill and record a few minutes of video whenever they need that aerial shot. The real CIA building is probably a boring-looking office block in Poughkeepsie, New York.

I’m also pretty sure every movie studio has that great big CIA seal printed on a piece of linoleum, or maybe just one of them went to the trouble to make it and they lend it back and forth like a dogeared library book, and they roll it out on the floor of an anonymous bank building somewhere in Hollywood when they need that overhead shot of people in suits walking across it as if they’re entering the lobby of the CIA headquarters. It sure looks like a bank to me.

Other than that, I didn’t get much from the movie except the very creepy feeling that I could see how all that could’ve happened just the way they said it did.

Fair Game | 3:54 pm CST
Category: entertainment | Tags:
Comments Off on Fair Game

Comments are closed.