Tuesday, August 17th, 2010

Crap crap crap crap. I had a crappy night’s sleep. Really crappy.

For starters, I couldn’t fall asleep. I still don’t know why that happens, but who does? I was dead tired before I turned out the lights, but immediately after I turned out the lights, and in the hours that followed, I just laid there, wide awake, growing more frustrated with each passing minute. Yes, I knew what time it was down to the minute – I could actually feel the minutes go by, as if they were marching over my face wearing hobnail combat boots.

Second, the cats jumped up on the foot of the bed, and not incidentally my feet, too, then jumped back down to chase mice or each other or ghosts or something, then jumped back up on the bed. If they stayed on the bed for more than five minutes it was only because they were possessed with the urge, as cats everywhere will do at odd times of the day, but especially when you’re trying to fall asleep, to vigorously cover their fur in their own spit. They would do that for twenty or thirty minutes if I didn’t send them a pointed message by kicking them right off the end of the bed, which I did repeatedly last night. It didn’t help me get to sleep, but it satisfied me in a primal way.

Third, when I went to bed the night was cool and refreshing, yet as the sleepless hours wore on the room became a sweatbox. T-Dawg says the best way to combat this is to get a packet of blue cooler ice from the freezer, shove it in a lunch bag and hug it, but I was doing that stubbornly lie in bed all night routine, so getting up to go to the ice box, or to do anything else that might have made sense, like turn on the overhead fan, was out of the question. Stubborn people, take note. I get extra points for that.

It wasn’t until sometime after two-thirty in the morning that I finally got a little bit of sleep, and that was fitful, catching a few winks here and there between feline lickfests and increases in the sauna-like temperature of our room. When my alarm clock finally began to bleat at quarter til six, I felt as though I’d spent the night lugging a backpack full of sledge hammers to the top of Mount Everest.

I was desperate to take a nap this afternoon and, after finishing up a few chores, stretched out to see if I could manage to get a little shuteye, but it still wasn’t happening. Except for that first dozing moment when my cheeks puff out on the exhale and I swallow my tongue and wake myself with a loud ZAWP! I didn’t get any real sleep.

So tonight when I go to bed I’ll be scared absolutely shitless that I’ll pass another night without sleep. Either that or I’ll be so completely worn out by nine-thirty that I’ll fall asleep on the sofa.

Redeye | 6:49 am CDT
Category: daily drivel | Tags:
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