Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

I totally chickened out today. When I stepped out with My Darling B to the car this morning we could both tell it was going to be another day hot and humid enough to boil the most hale and hearty person until he’s limp and stinky as spaghetti with a double helping of garlic pesto, so as soon as I got back home I closed up all the windows, drew the blinds, turned on the air conditioning and retreated to the cool, cave-like confines of my basement lair where I stayed all morning and just about all afternoon, working on an on-line certification that’s supposed to make me more employable. That’s the longest sentence I’ve written in years. Don’t let this happen to your kids! Get them away from their computer terminals and out of the house now!

I went outside twice today, four times if you count when I drove B to work and when I went to pick her up. I don’t because I get into the car (and out again) while it’s parked in the garage and that doesn’t seem like leaving the house to me, although come to think of it I did stop at the grocery store on the way home this morning so I guess by my own count I was outside three times.

Round about one o’clock I walked to Fraboni’s up the block to buy a sandwich roll and almost made it all the way home without suffering heat exhaustion or massive blood loss. As if the heat hasn’t made it hard enough to go outside for any more than twenty or thirty minutes, a bumper crop of mosquitoes has made it impossible to go outside for any length of time unless you keep moving, and even then you’ll have to resign yourself to getting bit on every exposed patch of skin wide enough that a mosquito can land on it if you don’t douse yourself in gasoline and light yourself on fire. Mosquitoes won’t touch you if you’re on fire. It’s the only way to be sure.

The third and last time I went outside was to tip over a pail full of water, because we’ve already got enough mosquitoes. We don’t need to give them any of the conveniences that would let them make more. Power-walking as quickly as I could across the back yard to the garden I flipped over the bucket, paused a moment to make sure it was drained, then sprinted back to the door, swatting the many ranked legions of mosquitoes that were marching across my arms and legs while massed squadrons followed close behind me until I slammed the door in their pointy little faces.

Other than those few bursts of activity, I spent the day at my computer monitor trying to plow through the National Career Readiness Certification for Jobseekers. The helpful people at the Job Center of Wisconsin hinted mightily that, if I completed this, it would give me an edge in all the jobs I applied for at both the state and local levels, should I chose to do that. I’ve been applying for many state and local jobs, so I’m trying to finish this up as soon as possible but it’s like taking the SAT all freaking day instead of for only four hours, and I’m quite a ways from being done still. But, as it happens, I’ve got some free time …

Indoors | 8:38 pm CDT
Category: adventures in unemployment, daily drivel, My Darling B, O'Folks, work
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