Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

I think I’ve found my dream job.

Ideally, my dream job would allow me to work from the comfort of my basement lair, where I’d be able to sit back with a cup o’ joe and listen to Handel’s Water Music or whatever was on the turntable until the urge to start working again made me sit up and put the coffee down, and I wouldn’t ever have the feeling that someone was glaring at me. I’d get out of bed whenever I woke up (which is usually about six o’clock, but oh, well) and I’d go to bed when I was too tired to hit the keys any longer. I’d take on as much work as I could handle, I’d give it as much time as I needed to turn out a quality product, and I’d say no to unrealistic demands. And I’d go to work in my pajamas. That’s a deal-breaker, right there.

As I said, that would be ideal. I’m not holding my breath.

Meanwhile, here in reality: I was going over the final version of the resume that had been very generously written for me by the placement agency my company hired to help me transition from their employment to someone else’s, the wonderful lady who’d written it said that she would be happy to look it over for me if I’d made any changes, and if I asked her to do a rewrite she would not charge me the full rate of one-hundred sixty bucks an hour the agency would charge anyone else who walked through the door.

Wait, what? my inner monologue yelped. You charge how much to write a resume?

Can this really be true? Are the services of a wordsmith so revered in the circles of business that aspiring moguls will shell out hundreds of dollars for a professionally-rendered resume? Because if they are, I want a piece of that!

Although, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t settle for a piece of that. I thought I might, just to be more competitive, but after some reflection I knew I really wouldn’t. When the full import of what she’d said hit home, the first thought that went through my head was, If I charged half that I would be satisfied, but I take that back now. Didn’t mean that. Was only kidding. I could get by on eighty bucks an hour, sure, but if the market will bear one hundred sixty bucks per, far be it for me to cheapen the product. I’m all about quality, as I said earlier, and I’ll slave for as many hours as it takes to produce the very best. That’s just how I roll.

dream | 6:43 pm CDT
Category: adventures in unemployment, daily drivel, work
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