Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Tonight’s dinner was not cooked on lumber. That means just what it says. I prepared and served a delicately broiled slab of salmon for guy night, and I did it without making a trip to the work shop to dig a rough-sawn cedar plank or a leftover length of select pine from the lumber pile.

I’m not just talking gibberish here. Apparently cooking your salmon on a plank is the greatest thing since JFK boinked Marilyn Monroe. I’m just guessing that the JFK / Marilyn thing was pretty great. It’s not like I’ve seen their lost sex tape or anything like that. How do you suppose that went down, anyway? JFK called up the Secret Service one night when he couldn’t sleep and told them, Get me Marilyn Monroe, and don’t ask any questions! Just wondering. I suppose I’d look it up if I had the time. Or cared.

I have never heard of cooking salmon, or anything, on a plank before this morning when the announcers on Wisconsin Public Radio, who have been begging for money all week, announced that they had twenty tickets to a cook-out at which Mad Dog and Merrill would be cooking and serving salmon … salmon on a plank. Joy Cardin’s voice was so hoarse after a solid week of telethoning that she was barely audible, but she stuck it out all morning, determined to sell these tickets.

And it was a very big deal. You had to donate at least $1,200.00 to get a pair of tickets, apparently because Mad Dog and Merrill were doing the cooking. I like to think I’m pretty handy with a Weber grill, but am I supposed to know these guys?

I don’t doubt that there are a lot of novel ways to prepare salmon, and even some that will let you present a dish that will impress your guests, but why cook on a plank? How does that make sense? Salmon is at its best when it’s broiled until it’s just about to brown, then served unadorned so you taste nothing but salmon. It’s not supposed to taste like cedar, or whatever. You want to eat something that tastes like cedar, then I’ll pour you a great big bowl of sawdust and you can spoon it up with some milk & sugar. I’ll be sitting at the big people’s table savoring the salmon.

grilling with lumber | 7:38 am CDT
Category: cook-out, food & drink, play
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