Sunday, February 14th, 2010

I dreamed about a blood-sucking spider monkey last night. I went to a pet store and bought a spider monkey for a guy as a joke because he lost a bet with me, and while we were waiting in a bar for him to show up I let the spider monkey out of his box and he sat on the end of my shoe and wrapped his arms around my calf, which I thought was pretty cute until one of the people I was with pointed out that it looked like he was biting me.

“Naw, he’s not biting me,” I said, because I figured it would hurt a lot if a spider monkey bit me. I didn’t feel anything except the monkey hugging my leg, but I looked down anyway and just about pissed my pants when I saw gouts of blood streaming from the ragged hole the little bastard had chewed through my sock. That’s when I yanked him off and stuffed him back in his box, and then somebody drove me to the emergency room so I could get my leg sewn up and get a rabies shot. Fun.

It was one of those dreams you wake up from and can’t get back to sleep because you just can’t stop thinking about it. I dozed off several times only to find myself right back in the emergency room with a nurse cleaning out the wound on my leg. It made the rest of the night seem to last about a million years. “We’ll have to kill your monkey to find out if he has rabies,” the nurse informed me tentatively, as if I might object. In one of the later versions of the dream, after I got good and sick of turning up in the hospital again, I asked him, “Can I kill the monkey?”

gnawing feeling | 9:16 am CDT
Category: dreams
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